False advertising

I've heard of this procedure that allows doctors to stitch up hymens to give the illusion of being a virgin again. Jesus Christ! Is that false advertising or what?

What kind of a gold digging bitch thought up that idea? As the good doctor said, 'buy the ticket, take the ride...'

Let's face it folks, in today's age, most of the chicks we're likely to meet have already had everything from beer bottles to barbie dolls shoved up their asses... I mean what else do we use Facebook for? And don't give me that shit about 'everyone deserves a second chance.' Such are the wages of sin! A woman would only opt for this procedure if there was no tread on the tyres anyway... Isn't there a law against turning the odometer clock back?

But I digress, lets talk about a girl I almost knew when I was in the Army. A pay clerk at the base, back then she was known as Belinda and to say she liked to fuck was an understatement. Her enthusiasm for cock became the stuff of legend at the unit and her appetite was only matched by the number of the blokes willing to give it to her. Unfortunately, not me though... the only thing that she fucked where I was concerned was my pay allowances, but that's another story.

Eventually the realisation must have set in that she could mix business and pleasure. And why not? Many women use their pussy as their ticket to ride, some just aren't quite as honest about it. Next thing she was 'face' of Rubys in the yellow pages... followed by a name change to Tyra Olsen and Kazamm! ...another starlet seeking fame & fortune in the land of opportunity. With a string of credits including Ass Crunchers 3, Up and Cummers 44 and Please Cum Inside Me #6 under her belt, I was expecting more from this doughy eyed fuck machine.

But watching Nasty Nymphos 19 left me uninspired and flatly contradicted my mates descriptions of the zest for sex that this freckly faced flesh puppet once exhibited. A wooden performance in a grainy scene, totally devoid of any enthusiasm or erotic value...and whilst I enjoy the meaningful dialogue that these epics provide, her nasally ocker twang was as arousing as running my purple helmeted love warrior against a cheese grater...

No sir, this production is proof of the danger that can befall anybody who may be tempted to take their hobbies into the professional arena. The novelty will soon wear off when you have to use your talent to feed the monkey. Caveat Emptor!

This is not just an asanine diatribe against management but a rail against corporatism as an ethos and a way of life that many people choose to live by. I'll come clean with it then. Corporations are sissys! They don't pay enough taxes. They run away when the going gets tough. They hate competition. They make welfare cheats look like a bunch of ninkumpoops. They fleece the economies of the world and they are averse to taking risks. In short they are softcocks.
Just as a minor footnote to this. Only second rate minds of immense power feel it necessary to repeat themselves. It's a sign of greatness......yet to come.

Second rate

As one possessed of a second rate mind of immense power it seems only right to put in my blustering claptrap before some other sap does so.
To be or not to be is attributed to the genius of Shakespeare and I would like to be remembered for coining the expression 'Something can only be said to be nothing after everything has happened'. It should be obvious to anyone with even the tiniest amount of a neuron to see the influence that Zen has had on the musings of my existentialist explorations into my own psyche. Be that as it may I feel inclined to belive that I would have come up with this regardless of whether I had ever come across "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance' or 'Penthouse Forum' for that matter. Read on later for further scintilating tales from the drainage ditch of my mind.